I'm so done with my family

I'm done with my mom and Dad's side

just over it

no more arguing, no more of that, I'm leaving, I'm moving out

I love them, but this has to be done man

it's one of the only ways I'll find true safety and peace

this family is genuinely full of crazy people

my dad wanting to pour battery acid down my mom, punching her, choking her, abusing animals... abusing us and then commits suicide?

then my mom was just making terrible impulsive decisions, Every time I trusted her, she lied and dismissed me, and tried to control me, also just being terrible at handling situations when I like vent to her for example or become suicidal, she gets stressed out and always wants my phone or something

then my brother is like my dad

my grandparents are abusive and always have been

my nana kicked me out over saying I didn't want her to yell at me

IM DONE 🤷

I'm simply done man

like my cousin is also violent and is in jail and he's what, almost 30?

and then my brother also had thoughts of killing his gf/ex, and said he was going to beat her up when he mistook her for someone else at the mall, as well as threatening me before, saying how he would beat me until I'm bloody if I ever smoked (he smokes now btw)

my auntie is also sort of like my dad, she said she would beat my cousins until he had brain damage one time, they also abuse animals

like... what the fuck, excuse my language, I usually don't cuss, but I'm genuinely horrified and traumatized by all this stuff but the people I trusted the most ... and now it's all gone

not to mention my mom also beating me as well, cheating on my dad which was 2 decades ago, just goes to show that... well... not much had changed

I'm literally tearing up as I'm typing this, this is so horrible, and my brother legit talked to me and said that people change... indicating I should be around them just because people can change, I can love and forgive but I don't have to be around

just because things were in the past, doesn't mean they don't matter

like I have PTSD from all this stuff man

my mom never was close like that, she was always going through something, but I remember her beating me with a belt over small things, like I placed my foot on my dog's head which I was being careful of, I didn't want to hurt her and I wasn't, I was recreating a scene out of a game ( I was 6 when this happened) and I got beat twice.

then I remember out of curiosity, putting a bath bomb in my pocket, I wasn't gonna steal it but I got beat for it.

and now she says to not hold it against her when she said "I should just stop caring", which was a few months ago btw

and then my brother agrees... I'm done, this is so disgusting

I LOVE them, despite who they are and what they've done, I Love them, I know circumstances were unfortunate and cycles need to be broken, I know how beautiful of humans they can be, but oh... how you guys have broke me, my sense of safety, and now you're trying to change my mindset of leaving

my brother said I'm being narrow minded, that I'm being a rebellious 16 year old, like I don't know what I'm doing

I don't argue, but ... the nerve, the absolute nerve for you to say that, I stayed up... nights, listening to you vent about your pain, your hurt, when you were suicidal, is as there for you... but when I was suicidal, cutting myself for the first time... you were harsh, even in a state like that, you show anger, "WHY'D YOU CUT YOURSELF"

and... you expect me to just move on? this isn't just my family which is scary... it's everywhere, people full of violence, hatred, pain, and anger...

that is why we need love... and I have to find peace and safety, find people who are right for me, because this isn't love, this isn't family

all this darkness is something I want to be free from, I know there's my love out there, I know there's gentle people out there, and I'm ready to move

I need a hug, please ❤️