I don't understand the accusation that I must be self-hating

There exist parts of the trans community I don't like. But I don't say it because I don't know how major trans subs react and they might remove the post.

But I genuinely don't mean anything ill to anyone. It's nothing personal, I just have a different opinion from you. I like to think independently.

Take this example of misogyny that's present in the community. Everyone is capable of being a misogynist, so does include trans people. We're too raised in a biased patriarchal society and internalize the biases ourselves.

The denial of having experienced male privilege pre-transition in the case of a trans woman is one. The male privilege is a spectrum, but that fact that you're percieved as male undeniably means you experience male privilege at some level. Privilege does not depend on internal mental states, it depends on how one is percieved by others. But to some pointing this out feels like a personal attack on them.

My childhood and a cis woman's childhood are very different on average. We don't experience periods and the stigma surrounding it, we don't experience the lack of importance given to by family on the basis of your gender, denying you education, not giving you proportional share of resources, being only told to be married off.

Or like going out with friends, you're told to not stay too late. But as a guy that was no problem. I could walk outside at 1 am without any care in the world. If you have a younger sibling then you're almost treated like a parent of your sibling. You're not having your ambitions pushed away because society believes you're just there to make babies etc.

I could go on with more examples. Context might vary depending where you are from (I'm from India) but the point stands. Taking averages of all we have different childhoods than cis women.

I was horribly bullied, faced violence, sexual assault as a child and later into teenage years and got into trouble multiple times but none of that had to with my agab. There were horrible things in my childhood but I cannot attribute them to my gender.

It is absolutely undeniable that I had male privilege in my younger years.

This doesn't mean trans women are privileged. That can be disproven by pretty much any statistics. But the point is just because you have to face oppression now, does not change the fact that you had privilege before. It's not your fault either. You are not to blame.

It doesn't make sense at one point you want support from women but at the same time, you just deny the past and also not listen to and acknowledge the differences in experiences. There are unique challenges associated with having been born with a female reproductive system at the start of your life. This doesn't negate any oppression faced by trans people.

And then I see absurd arguments that's stating we're actually biological females. But that is just straight up false. It makes us look like science deniers. We're not fully biologically female and we're not the same as cis men biologically either. Both of these can be true.

There is a reason conservatives are able to get such a far outreach and support. Due to pre-existing societal biases things are already on their side but this sort of poor behavior also drives our own acceptance down. Both of these can be true that the style of trans rights advocacy is poor, attempt at persuation is poor and also that the style of conservative promoting their narrative is much better.

We can argue that we function as women in society but claiming that we are exactly biological females makes no sense and to me it feels like we're downplaying the oppression that it comes with being a cis woman. We still should have our legal genders recognized because of how we function in society and how our brains are wired.

Then there is the whole sports thing. Why are we still advocating for this? There is no strong evidence that we absolutely do not have any kind of unfair advantage. I have never played sports competitively for the last 5 years I have as a woman because it never felt fair to me that I should be playing sports with cis women on any competitive scale. I am still stronger than my cis women friends. I can do 20 pull ups and 100 push ups in a row with ease.

But so many people are rigid about this topic but there is a clear discrepancy.

But then when I state this I get attacked people call me a self hating trans woman, claim that I believe I am "male woman" and all sorts of strange claims and some even twisted my words claimed that I've said that denying male privilege is pedo but that is a flat out lie. Delibrate lies to dodge my arguments. I said about predators manipulating their way inside the community and that we must always stay vigilant. Unlike conservative or radfem transphobes, I never equate being trans to the same thing as being a predator because I know it is false. Majority of the stands against predators but still call them out whenever we see them. They belong in prison, not our communities. Don't fall for their manipulative tactics.

I am just a feminist in my views and with transitioning and living as a woman, my beliefs in feminism have grown stronger. However I am not ideologically rigid. I am pragmatic.

We should not downplay oppressions that comes with being afab. Do so is misogyny. We must acknowledge that instead of trying to dodge.