Why i can’t move on? its been fcking 2 yrs and i feel stuck

I’m a 23-year-old female. I had a situationship that lasted for almost 2 months, and I’ve never had a boyfriend before. It’s been 3 years, and I still stalk his social media every single day without fail. It feels like I’m stuck in the trauma I got from him.

The trauma I experienced was because he lied about his past, and I was too innocent back then. So I cut him off. But even after that, I still find myself getting hurt—sometimes I’m okay, but other times I’m not.

One time, I saw that he seemed happy with someone new. I became petty and created a dummy account just to message him and say a lot of bad things.

I feel like I’m stuck. Sometimes I feel okay, but I really don’t know anymore. I can’t seem to end this cycle—I just keep going back to doing the same impulsive things over and over again.