I need help with Therapy suggestions

Hie😩I am Transwoman. So this fetish is so strong that it made me go to that Tommy Robinson March in London last year. I was so aroused the entire time in the crowd surrounded by so many vile men. I have been struggling with this deeply unsettling and crippling fetish for the worst men with deplorable views. It's worse for me because am a Transwoman on the polar opposite and I hate them so much but in that deep hate Is the intense worped urge to do sex stuff with them. To hate fuck them so bad. It's worped I know😔.. The worse they are in their hate the more intense the urge is to bend them over and do them really hard from behind. I get supper aroused when they trash talk minorities. I start precuming and everything. The good thing is these thoughts only materialise for despicable Men like that. I think this might be connected to my high-school bully who used to bully me and get hard while doing it. It's so twisted because I associate men who bully others with sexual stuff now. I fantacize so much about Tommy Robinson specifically all tied up, fighting his restraints, hurling transphobic, xenophobic and racist insults while also begging me to do him hard. I feel so guilty... In the end I know this all because of being for being bullied in high-school as a queer kid and seeing them aroused while doing it. It fucked with my pysche.