22M – Worried I’m being too clingy with my long-distance girlfriend (22F). How do I fix this?

I feel like I’m being too clingy on my gf(well if she is so).

Story time.

I met her on twitter last year in March and she is the perfect girl for me. I never met her in person tho but Same hometown same roots most similar in every aspect o mean she is the one for me.

In April o asked her to be my gf and the next day or so her grandpa passed away.( we were making plans how I’d move in with her for 2 months for my internship in may and June 2025. Fast forward something changed but later we were back on taking and loving terms. She told me she had Chronic depression before I asked her to be mine.

Fast forward to September, she had her ca exam in November and we picked up a fight how she is not giving me even a bit of her time(I just wanted to be on vc for few times a week).

She broke up with me then.

She attempted suicide, got sick, missed her exam, on her hospital bed she asked her friend to wish me happy birthday on her behalf in November. Her friend told me what’s going on with her since she broke up with me in September.

I was shook. In December I started texting her on a group one she and me was in. For almost a month no reply but then suddenly one day she started reacting on my texts(I used to remind her that she is not alone and I’m always there) now this year started… took too much patience but in April 2026 now we are back like we were before but it’s off. She did not said I love you to me not even once after last September. Last month 5 different people close to her died, her mother got sick and admitted to hospital for 2 weeks and then she ghosted me again. Came back and now i am again being very patient with her after a month of that incident but she does not reciprocate it … sometimes it’s feels like I’m taking to a wall. Well one day I asked her why did toh even chose me again after leaving she said that you will not understand, keep asking that to yourself for rest of your life. I don’t get it. I just check up on her and remind her that she is not Alone and finally we will meet in this May but i feel like I’m upsetting her or something she just give me cold replies or maybe I’m thinking too much( I drop 6-7 msgs at once). I don’t know what’s the matter but she does not even want to talk about it it seems because I asked her that today as well but ignored. I am willing to ho through hell and even fight the gods for her but I need atleast something, just few mins call a day would suffice. I don’t know how can I be the best version of myself to deserve her. She is the woman o wanna Marry one day but currently I’m exhausted but not gonna give up. Need some help