Review my Writing Task 2

Hello. As the name suggests, I want to ask you to review my essay for Writing Task 2. You can also provide tips and feedback on how I can improve my writing skill. This is my first time writing an essay and that's why I will provide to variants here: my first attempt and a revised version. I didn't set a timer to rewrite my essay, as my goal was to improve it and nail the task response.

Many aspects of the way people dress today are influenced by global fashion trends. How has global fashion become such a strong influence on people’s lives? Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

My first attempt:

Global fashion trends have made a huge influence on how people dress today. While it might have a negative impact, such as meeting someone who wears the same clothes, I still think it has a positive development for people's lives.

Industries that run fashion always try to find ways to attract everyone. One of the reasons they are managing to do so is through advertisements. They present their product, especially if it's new for the season through social media, television, billboards, and even journals. This increases the chance to notice the industry. Another reason that affects industry's popularity is its prestige. By knowing, that they are well-known everywhere and have a good quality, many, if not all, will most likely try to wear their outfit.

Uniqeness also plays an important role to follow the trends. When you see a similar outfit you've seen from other industries, it pushes you away from visiting their store, as it doesn't provide anything new to try out. But, if an industry offers something new and modern, which is different from what they've done previously, it might help them to keep the clients long-term. Nationality is another factor that could drag people to wear their dresses. Some might love French outfits; some might love the traditional Japanese clothes. This could bring a variety of clothes for people to choose from.

Overall, global fashion trends plays a vital role on how people dress, bringing a positive development in humans' lives and a variety to choose their outfit based on the brand, nationality, uniqeness, and popularity.

A revised version:

Global fashion trends have had a huge influence on how people dress today. While it might have a negative impact, such as meeting someone who has the same styling, I strongly believe that it has a positive impact on people's lives.

Fashion companies always try to find ways to attract locals. One of them is through advertisements. They promote their products through social media, television, journals, and other platforms. This makes an industry more popular, even globally. Another factor is the prestige of fashion brands. If the company is well-known for having dresses with a good quality and styling, many locals, as well as new clients, will choose them because of it. In addition, if the industry has unique clothing that is not available anywhere else, this could bring more customers to try out something new.

I think that global fashion trends brings a positive outcome because it allows everyone to have more choices and opportunities for self-expression. They can choose a variety of outfits they think it fits their taste and preference. Another reason is that many industries around the world can influence styles in other countries, bringing their culture to the foreigners and trying out something new. This can affect locals' view on fashion who are bored of local trends.

Overall, global fashion trends shows a strong influence using advertisements, staying unique, and having good prestige. I think it has a positive development on human's styling, with an option to choose a wide variety of clothing, either from local or global industries.