Trying new AD and it did make me fatter

As the person with anxiety disorder and residing in Turkey where antidepressants are sold without prescriptions - I'm taking advantage again to improve my mental health.

I took the opportunity to try Paxil that was known to be very fattening, but it didn't work for me - it just made me quite lethargic and not much into eating, but sleeping. And boy did I have a good sleep and after a while when I started going off of it - I even had a few weeks of energy and sharp and clear thinking - it was incredible to feel like a normal person with an actual functioning brain. So I swore that I'd repeat that sometime.

Meanwhile current situation requires me being somewhat active, but anxiety flaring up again it made me go buy another AD I was once prescribed a loong time ago and I didn't like it back then. Nor did I like it again when I started taking it again. The stupid drug seem to make me even more anxious and as ppl say its a normal thing with it - it goes away in 3-6 weeks. Just started week 4 and it seems that anxiety does recede finally. I hated the anxiety part though.

Now the interesting part was that it somehow managed to make me eat a lot more. I dunno I just started feeling this sensation in upper part of my stomach that resembles hunger, but not quite it, like a slight dull ache, which was enough to make me seek something I could eat to fill me up properly and hush that ache. But nothing I ate seem to do the trick and I literally turned to eating anything catching my eye, even something unprepped, like just munching on bread, or eating tuna straight out of the can. It literally looked like I'm fridge raiding eating everything in sight... almost to the point drinking mayo straight from the bottle.

Results shown later - I've grown all over. My regular belt notch has become too tight, so I've had to move to the next one. My belt line is my least growing part, therefore everything else has gotten fatter. And really I see now more fat on my inner thighs, which I never welcome, but what can I do. But gaining while being extra anxious seem to send my fat upwards. I feel like I'm getting comically bloated like a cartoon character. My arms and chest have gotten even more thicker now. To the point that those old long sleeved dress shirts I put on have gotten really tight around those sleeves. I think those shirts will burst at shoulder seams faster than my belly will pop off the straining buttons. (You can look at one of older posts of mine where I have a photo of a shirt ripped like that). I don't know, but I feel like if I'm gonna gaining even more weight - I'll be like those fat guys that have to rip off any sleeves off of everything to be able to put on shirts and jackets, haha :) Combine that with my plans to finally hit the gym sometimes - and I might become an absolute unit sometime lol 😆

All and all this is what was happening last month with me. Unfortunately I didn't enjoy it much because of elevated anxiety... somehow it felt like a disappointment and expectations of being shunned about it by my mom when I'll be visiting her for some beach vacation in Antalya in June.