Addiction of decades

I’ve been addicted to porn since I was 8 years old, and I’m over 50 now. The hours I lose in a day to it frightens me, the lack of motivation to do anything and the feelings of self sabotage and lack of motivation to do anything by myself cripple my days off. I’m tired, tired of living in slavery to this. There have been times where I have overcome it for a week or two, maybe a month but always the pull back into the mire overcomes me in the end.

Today I lost another 3 hours of my life to this, and I feel like if I don’t conquer this it’s going to be with me until I die, and I don’t want to die in these chains.

It affects the things I care about most, my marriage, my relationship with family. Sex is non-existent because I have no sex drive outside of porn, no desire that is naturally progressed like it should be, only the same selfish pull back to behind closed door time, most of all though I feel it has robbed me of who I was, and I want to stop.

I’m glad that I found this group, I had just deleted my old account which I had used for porn, maybe this time I can find some good.

Day 1 then, I’m a porn addict and I need to face that head on.