AIO about my friend’s comments about a child’s birthday party?

I have a friend, we can call her Katie, who’s married to a very good friend of my husband. We have spent lots of time together as couples over the last five years including an international trip. And we are also friends independently though our husbands are much close than me and Katie.

Katie has a personally that many people find repellent but she most likely has autism and I know that many autistic women are excluded and isolated (which she does experience) socially. And for the most part, her social differences don’t bother me.

But within the last six months, some deeper weirdness has come up and it culminated with some really crappy comments about a 1 y/o birthday party they attended and told us about the next day which was “all the moms looked haggard and busted.” And then when everyone at the table sat in silence (we were at a restaurant with more people), she doubled down and her husband “also said the same thing” to try and give her statement more weight and support. She also commented on how “all the parents kept telling her how horrible birthing is and how she should be so grateful she doesn’t have kids.” The people hosting the party are also a close couple to them as well. This is also the only things she said about the party. No “it was cute!” Or “he’s growing up so fast.” Literally nothing positive.

There have been some other comments like this that have been popping up and I’m getting to the point of cutting the friendship off. I’ll be polite and spend time with her to maintain the friendship with her husband (who my husband and I adore), but I think maybe I’m starting to see what everyone else has been seeing? I’ve also been on a two year fertility journey and other people at the table told me they couldn’t believe she said that while sitting across from me.

Other issues that have come up are lying to me about giving their cat away, interrogating my husband without me there for info about my life (she could have just texted me or asked me to hang out to get her questions answered), telling an entire table of people a whole story about a male coworker who has a crush on her while her husband was visibly uncomfortable and humiliated, flirting with men in front of her husband, and generally very boastful of how judgmental she is. Part of me feels like something has changed and part of me feels like maybe I made excuses for bad behavior and I’m just waking up to it.

So, am I overreacting by wanting to step away from the friendship (as delicately as I can)? I have given her some loose feedback and she laughs like it’s a joke. So I’m not sure there’s any moving forward. Though maybe I’m not looking at this from enough angles…