2 months free.

Today 2 months ago i was in a really bad place.

I have been using kratom for over 6 years and other drugs aswell just not daily like kratom.

Ive been batteling depression since young age.

kratom was a wonder substance for me when i discovered it allowed me to be in the moment and be more open etc..

but that didnt last long

lost friends, hobbies, sex drive the will to do anything basically.

The last two years o felt like a complete zombie and was using at least 75gpd but alot of days it was more.

I became so depressed i started drinking again in the weekends wich made it even worse.

I was struggling every day to make it by.

lost al emotions and desire to live basically.

had some really dark times.

i even tried to end it, wich probably would have succeeded of my mother didnt came to my house.. sigh

They knew i used it before but thought i was clean now ..

after a rough weekend in wich i was quite hurting myself.

I had a talk with my parents who came to my place and decided i was gonna get back in with my parents for a while.

told them wat they were gonna be in for.

Ifelt so ashamed and by everything i did, all the money i wasted.

my parents who ive let down again and the pain they had to go through when they were with me at the he hospital.

So i finally made a good choice for once and got in the car with them to my old place.

I cant expres my gratitude towards them in words,

They helped my so much during withdrawal and after.

Got back on escitalopram, seeing a psych again and starting therapy soon.

walking alot outdoors , my dad often joins me.

oure bond is healing and im so happy about that

I just got back to my own place Yesterday.

but still have alot of contact and visit them almost daily.

Working full time wich is stil pretty rough but improving alot.

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Im becoming more open and social again and people definately notice.

Still got a long road ahead of me.

but in feeling positive for my future and i havent felt that in years.

So if you can, move aside the ego, shame , guilt and seek help.

Dont do it alone of you dont have to.

It helps so much if your not alone and stuck in youre own head all the time.