I destroyed a relationship with my soul mate

I finally met the perfect person for me, smart, intellectual, emotionally intelligent, our bodies synced together in a way I never experienced before. We light each other light up. This might sound wild to some but I knew on the first date that I was in love and this was it. At one point from both our sides, it felt like one of those horrid romantic movies, where the only thing that would seperate us is death.

Then when I stayed at her place for the night, I Acca Dakka’d the fuck out of it. I allowed my ADHD, my nervous system to take control and complete destroyed the emotional trust we had built so quickly. When she spoke and told me her boundaries I couldn’t hear them, when she gave me the opportunity to engage in a meaningful way - I continued the process without actual thought. I made rushed input and many negative comments, some that were deeply hurtful to her, even if not directed at her. 

She was amazing enough to highlight all the points that went wrong, and I am activity working through rebuilding myself to the person I have always wanted to be. I have taken major steps in the past week to reconcile with myself. Eckhart Tolle said akin too - unless there is a major event, we will never wake up in our journey of the spiritual. There needs to be something that triggers the event. Something as shocking as this.

I don't need advice, I had done a lot of work in past week or so already and following up on a lot more. I cannot stress this enough, stop using your ADHD as an excuse. Get angry. If you need it, get medication - get yourself to be a better person. Do not accept compromise.