I know my time is coming

My time is coming very soon, I am a burden on my family, I have no friends left as my best and only friend in the world passed away suddenly last month. I am sh-ing, I am not feeling the pain from any of the c-ts, I can't see any future any more. My adult children do not care, nor does my husband care anymore. The only thing that scares me slightly is leaving my toddler, I know if I dont he will just grow to not care and I would just damage him from being the beautiful person he is meant to be, without me he can flourish. I am not a bad or horrible person, I dont know why the world seems to have it against me. Sorry for rambling, I am just trying to get through this day, so that my youngest cannot associate Easter with me.