Why is my mom like this?

Hi, I need to vent about my mom who may or may not be a narcissist (maybe a covert narcissist). SInce my birth, my mom was too possessive and protective of me but if you think that's normal and all moms are like that, then think again...

She doesn't like me talking to my dad or anybody else for that matter. She emotionally and verbally abuses me and she feels jealous of anybody I talk to or like besides her. She tries to create misunderstanding between me and that person. She also has this weird phobia that me and my dad are always bad mouthing or talking bad about her behind her back.

Yeah, sometimes we do because of the crazy and the mean stuff that she likes to do to us and the people around her. She reacts violently to constructive criticism so we have to discuss about her and her "glorious deeds" behind her back. Things like emotional manipulation, verbal abuse, treating people who are less fortunate than her very cruelly. For example, if she spots my dad giving tips to anybody or trying to help someone out by giving them a little bit of money, she'll yell at my dad, call him names, and snatch the money out of his hands.

The most freaky thing she does is, eavesdrop on me and my dad or suddenly barge in any kind of conversation between me and my dad by starting to give us stupid and useless advices and her infamous "pearls of wisdom" that defies all logic. She treats me and my dad like animals and when I call her out on her bullshit, she stops talking to us and gives us the silent treatment.

She still tries her best to alienate me from my dad and she did at some point of time until I started to look through her lies and manipulation techniques and understand that my dad is innocent and was never in the wrong in anything. She also tried and still tries to alienate me from my grandma (my dad's mom) but failed because we have a very strong emotional bond a relationship based on love, trust, and respect.

She likes to deflect blame, twist the narrative, put words in our mouths, and then tries to play the victim card when we (me mostly) confront her for all the stupid and childish things she does. My dad had every reason to leave her but he stayed for me and my mom because he didn't want to put her on the street. I'm still trying to figure out how to handle her without setting her off. I used to try to figure out why my dad doesn't engage with her or fight back when she bad mouths him, calls him names, or just verbally abuses him. Now I know that he's too afraid of her and just greyrocks her which I fail to do most of the time.