My bf's mom literally hates me and idk what to do anymore

Hey y'all. This is kinda awkward to post, but I'm at my wit's end fr. Buckle up, this is gonna be a long one.

So me and my bf "Alex" (both 21) have been together for 3 years, living together for 1 year. Everything would be fine except for his mom, let's call her Karen (lol what else).

I still can't figure out what's going on in her head. She's one of those ultra-protective boy moms. And she clearly hates my guts.

At first she was super sweet and friendly. But now I realize it was all fake af.

Here we go. Early in our relationship, I found out I have a chronic condition so my periods are super irregular. I texted Alex about it once, but the dude has a habit of falling asleep with his phone on. So his mom read our ENTIRE chat. She thought I was pregnant and threw a massive fit (he still lived with her back then). Even after I took multiple tests and explained everything, she refused to believe us. I literally had to get an ultrasound to prove I wasn't pregnant. When Alex asked for an apology, she said no because she was "just worried" and "didn't wanna be a grandma so soon."

After that I didn't go to his place for months. We'd crash at hotels (I lived in a dorm where guys weren't allowed). Karen wasn't happy about that either – she flipped because we were being intimate before marriage. She straight up called me a slut for "spreading my legs" before wedlock. Alex managed to smooth things over somehow.

Fast forward to a year ago – Alex saved up enough from his side gig and decided to move out. Knowing his mom, he gave her a ONE WEEK notice before leaving. It was a nightmare. He recorded everything she said on his phone just in case she got aggressive. And holy shit, I couldn't believe a mother could say such awful things to her son. She guilt-tripped him saying he didn't love her, accused me of manipulating him (I didn't even know he was planning to move tbh). Then she dropped this gem: "Your father is dead and if you leave now, you'll lose your mother too." Like... wtf. Alex was 12 when his dad died and he's still not over it. He moved out anyway, and Karen gave him the silent treatment for months.

I moved in with him from the dorm, and things started getting better. But then Karen decided to pop back up. No apology or anything – instead she accused me of being pregnant AGAIN and mooching off Alex's money. We told her I work too and we split everything 50/50. Didn't matter. Then she started coming for my looks – said I spend too much on nails, makeup, hair dye. Like... maybe I do, but it's MY money?? Told her that. She still thinks I'm sucking her son dry.

We tried to play nice for a while. Every time we visited, she acted super sweet to my face like she never talked crap behind my back.

Now the latest drama. Me and Alex decided to move to a nicer apartment closer to his work. Karen was thrilled because it's closer to HER house. While packing, I had to leave town for my grandma's bday. While I was gone, Alex visited Karen. He told me she was being super creepy – asking about my relationship with my dad (knowing I'm NC with him and don't wanna talk about it), trying to find out what meds I take, why I see a therapist, what antidepressants I'm on. I told Alex NOT to share any of that, it's too personal. Karen got pissed he wouldn't spill the tea. Then she started ranting: "Why is MY son carrying boxes alone while she's celebrating some random birthday?!" Like... first of all, the boxes were literally my size and twice my weight – I physically couldn't. Second, I wanted to see my family and Alex was fine with it.

And just yesterday – Alex stopped by her place with some groceries after work. Did she ask how he's doing? Work? health? Nope. She noticed an unironed t-shirt. Started yelling that I'm not taking good enough care of her son. Apparently it's a "woman's duty" to iron. Um... excuse me? He has hands?? He's a grown adult?? I'm not his mommy. When he got home, we actually fought because I feel like he never shuts her down or defends me.

Now my hands are literally itching to text her myself and tell her to say all this crap to my face instead of dumping it on Alex.

So... My mom says Alex is a man and should handle it himself (but he's a huge people-pleaser). My sister says go for it. I'm just scared Karen will flip on Alex again for "telling me everything."

Honestly I'm so tired of this woman. That's why it's important for me to get your opinion.. Maybe I shouldn't write to her.