How did your partners react when telling them about an abusive family member that you’re still in good contact with?

When my boyfriend and I first met, I made the mistake of getting drunk and telling him about the creepy things my dad had done while I was young. Yet from age 15-24 my dad and I have a really good relationship. (current day) (although the past has been weighing on me heavily and really making it hard to think of my dad normally) I lived alone with my dad from ages 15-21 and it was honestly a really normal household.

My boyfriend of a year and 9 months is very VERY outraged at my dad and wanted me to cut off contact with him so bad. We’ve gotten in like multiple major fights about it and my boyfriend would tell me I’m letting bad people get away with bad things and that I’m protecting a pedofile. I understand logically he’s right but like … if my dad was so shitty I would’ve cut contact but he’s honestly been a very “normal” father other than that. I’m extra triggered because my boyfriend has like come to terms that if we’re gonna be together he’ll just have to put these feelings aside. But my dad is coming to visit us and they’re gonna meet for the 2nd time in a week. It just has all these feelings resurfaced. I wish I never told my fucking boyfriend. He’s said before that he doesn’t want my dad at our wedding bc his nephew and nieces would be there.

My bf was also sexually abused and a part of me is frustrated bc he’s never told his mom or tried to find out who it was, so why is he attacking me for being scared as well. Also his mom let his 16 yr old sister sleepover with a 21 year old yet when I mention the hypocrisy he just deflects onto my dad.

My bf has gotten much better and we haven’t fought about it in awhile but it’s all just still so triggering because I’m dealing with his emotions and mine.