Needing perspective

I feel really messed up over something that probably shouldn’t have gotten this far.

I was talking to this woman for about 6 months. From the beginning, she said she didn’t want a relationship right now, and I accepted that. I told myself I could handle something casual.

But the way she interacted with me didn’t feel casual at all. She was really romantic, emotionally intimate, and affectionate. We’d have deep conversations, she’d say things that felt meaningful, and it honestly felt like we were building something — even if it wasn’t “official.”

I know she technically didn’t lie to me. She was upfront about not wanting a relationship. But at the same time, her actions and words didn’t match that boundary, and I ended up getting really attached.

Now I just feel confused and kind of used, even though I don’t think she intended to hurt me.

I guess I’m struggling with this: how do you trust what someone says when their behavior feels like the complete opposite? And how do you not blame yourself for getting pulled in?

Would really appreciate hearing from other wlw who’ve been through something similar.