Vacations Can Be Tough

Finishing up a short vacation with the family. We visited the Dells with my sister and brother in law with their 4 kids (12,8,2,1)

The very first thing brought up in any discussion seems to be booze. BIL has a beer in his hand at all moments. It has been a frustrating with kids crying and just overstimulation everywhere.

It is frustrating being the uncle who is always counted on for fun and levelheadedness. I used to be fun loving without a care in the world, granted I was drunk off my ass then. I got to the point with frustration when dealing with a hurt kid and an inability to find parents, one was on a drunken phone call the other had gone off to the hot tub bar that I was ready to give up.

I have changed everything about myself and I am in a constant battle trying to win against my brain. These people aren’t even trying and I seem like the angry one because I’m just tired of everyone’s antics.

I wanted to snap so badly. I wanted to be the person who could just say fuck it and start to drink again.

I didn’t. I chose not to drink. It was the right choice. My alcoholic brain was trying to convince me it was okay since others are being irresponsible.

Idk what I am trying to get at, but I wanted to share with others who may get the frustration. I am tired of all the conversations about “alcohol” like we are in high school. It’s old news and even though I get support for not drinking, it is infuriating seeing others I love continue to make bad choices while they get the chance to raise a family that I can’t.

Iwndwyt