I guess second best is all I know

Mao nani karon, tukar nsad ang kamingaw and tons of realizations ba. Makalagot kaayo sgeg agi sa akoang TikTok fyp ang kanta ni Katy Perry ba tapos maka relate sad ko lol

It’s been like couple of years na since we broke up. No third party involved, just that need nato magbulag because staying in that relationship was no longer healthy for the both of us.

Sayang noh? Nakaplano na tanan pati parents nimo, imong fam gatabang aron makaapas ko nimo diraa. Naa na untay anak, unfortunately nakuhaan weeks before your flight back abroad.

2 years with you seems like forever sa ka daghan nahitabo and for the first time in my life, I felt safe. Never in my life na naging happy kog same way when I was with you na even my fam ganahan nimo. There were lapses sa atoang relationship just like other relationships have. Dili gihapon ko makalimot hangtod karon bsan okay nako because how could I move on from someone who’s been my home, my refuge for those years?

Nakita nako imong story and I’m glad seeing you happy, doing things that you love the most. I know na even wala nata, dili gyud maputol atong connection. Kabalo ka na you’ll always have a place in my heart and sa akoang fam.

I always ask myself if I am really okay, if ending that relationship was the best decision pero maisip nako nga it was better rather than staying and hating each other.

I hate to admit this, but mao ni isa ka reason na I can’t seem to love again because lahi rman gyud oy. Akong standards when it comes to love, nabag-o when I met you. Dili ko ganahan muingon sa mga ga ask nako why after all these years wala gihapon koy uyab even if I’m dating here and there. The truth is, di pa gyud ko ready. When our relationship ended, you took a part of me na lisod ko magstart usab. Idk how love to love again.

Mao nani karon na even if I’m seeing and dating guys, slept with some of them, di ka mawala sa akong isip — the what ifs, the whys and hows.

Ambot oy, dako gyud impact atong relasyon sa akoa. That’s why I’m writing this down as my way of accepting and healing na I should stop this hoe phase and focus on being the better version of myself.

Dili nako gustog temporary lang, pamparaos or anything casual because I know that I am better than that. Need na gyud ni siya iaddress nga issue nako ay or else I’ll continue spiraling down and I don’t want that.