OCD is making me spiral in a new relationship/talking stage and I don’t know what’s real

I’ve recently started talking to someone and it’s kind of a medium distance situation, about 1.5 hours apart. It’s been going really well overall, but lately communication has slowed down a bit.

For context, I’ve been officially diagnosed with OCD, and I’m starting to realize how much it’s affecting me right now.

Even though I know logically he’s probably just busy, my brain keeps jumping to “he doesn’t like me anymore” or “he’s trying to slowly fade out.” There’s honestly no real proof of that. The only thing is I’ll sometimes be on delivered while he’s active on social media. Even that only bothers me because I compulsively check, which just makes everything worse.

This morning it got really intense. I texted him, assumed he just hadn’t seen it, then checked his socials and saw he was active. After that I started spiraling. Chest tightness, overthinking, convincing myself he’s losing interest or doesn’t want this anymore.

The thing is, I’m supposed to visit him this weekend, and now I’m second guessing everything. Like is this even going to work? Am I about to get played?

I also double texted and didn’t get a response, so now I feel embarrassed and like I’m “too much.” My brain is telling me he’s ignoring me on purpose.

I think part of this is coming from past experiences. Almost every guy I’ve liked has either ghosted me or slowly disappeared, so I feel like I’m just waiting for that to happen again. And I actually really like this guy, which makes it worse.

I’m in therapy, but I’m still struggling a lot in the moment. I’m wondering if I should tell him a bit about my OCD and how it affects me, since he doesn’t really know. Maybe that would help? Or maybe I’m overthinking that too.

I don’t know what’s a real concern vs what’s my OCD talking. Has anyone dealt with this? How do you not spiral when communication changes even a little?

Any advice would really help !!!

TLDR:

I have OCD and just started talking to a guy long distance. Communication slowed a bit and now I’m spiraling, overthinking, and convincing myself he’s losing interest even though there’s no real proof. I double texted, feel embarrassed, and I’m scared of getting ghosted like in the past. Not sure what’s real vs my OCD or if I should open up to him about it.