where to go from here?

I started T 4 months ago and I started lean bulking at the same time. Unfortunately l've gained fat and barely any muscle and I'm severely crashing out at the moment. I've gained 17lbs in total since starting and barely any strength. I'm on here because the amount of fat l've gained is really getting to me and my mental health is so low at the moment and I feel so low within myself. And it's just making dysphoria worse. I'm unsure what turn to take from here. Im so unsure of what my next steps should be that i’m literally losing sleep and i need advice so please don’t take this down 🙏I was considering doing a mini cut for 3 weeks and eating 30% less calories than maintenance just to get my fat gain under control. Or should I continue a lean bulk and eat at a smaller surplus? Or should I look into body recomp?

I'm just so upset within myself because i'm seeing people change their whole bodies in 4 months and l've gone from something I was okay with living in to something that makes me want to cry when I look in the mirror. I must also add that I struggle with body dysmorphia and it might be that talking rather than me thinking rationally.

Any kind advice would be much appreciated.

Many thanks

Just for context, i'm currently 5'4, 122lbs, my maintenance calories is 2100, i've never hit the gym consistently before January but i've done some off an on lifting with light weights in the past.