Just a good submissive boy, long abandoned, who only wants to be held

Ive (36m) been too long in no contact with my biological mother. She didn’t believe that I was mistreated and abused by her sister, who was supposed to be my godmother.

The holidays are the hardest. Seeing others surrounded by family, laughter, and warmth triggers the ache of absence even more. Every decoration, every gathering, every tradition reminds me of the love I never received and the care I still long for.

All this has left a deep, constant longing for care, comfort, and safety , a motherly presence that truly sees me, not just my mistakes. A love that doesn’t come and go, that never hurts or turns away.

Even with boldness or errors, the need to feel steady, protective arms around me is strong. To believe that someone could be there unconditionally, offering maternal care without judgment or fear. That longing has been quiet but persistent, and just imagining it now makes the heart ache.

There’s a wish to be held, to feel safe, to be seen, to be loved unconditionally even if only for a moment, in thought, through gentle care and presence. That imagined warmth is treasured, especially when the holidays make absence feel louder than ever.