I dont even know how to tiltle this I'm just so confused

I genuinely dont know how to take the things my fiance has been saying lately, I'm between calling it reinforcing, competitive or just plain unhelpful.

(also feel I should say we are in a ldr, we're on facetime when we're available)

Ill start off saying he has had his own struggles with EDs in the past, and grew from them after high-school, and he's made it clear in his own words that its not a thing that weighs heavy on his mind, he said he essentially woke up one day and was like "this is dumb"

Knowing he has gone through these things I do try to take his advice and opinions on the matter.

Currently I am falling into old habits, I've been restricting for the past few months and have lost about 25lbs, so obviously that is concerning to him and I can't fault him for that. If he asks me to eat something I will, its hard sometimes but I will because I know I need to and his encouragement and playfulness makes it not feel gross. I appreciate him so freaking much.

Recently though (past 4 weeksish) he keeps claiming he's going to start extremely fasting, he'll bring it up out of no where and at first I just did what he was doing for me or I'd just suggest healthier options. Nothing comes of it though, it'll be a few hours later and he'll have a normal meal and eventually pass out (we work oposite schedules). He's also brought up working out more, I exercise semi regularly reguardless if my ED is flaring or not, so I always encourage him when he brings it up because it does just feel good to move your body. Again though nothing comes of it, even when hes visiting and I want to do just some stretches or go on a walk he persuades me otherwise.

This past week he started saying some odd stuff, nothing that offends me I know I have a problem, but theyre just kinda... I just dont know, when I talked to a old friend she suggested I was just clouded because I'm sick. Heres a few things hes said: "when we live together youre not doing this eating disorder shit" fine fair, he'll make jokes about fattening me up like "you can keep your little eating disorder I'll just find away to sneak more calories into your safe food","I'll just give you an edible and you'll eat whatever I give you","I'm just gonna keep you drunk when we live together so its harder to burn off." Then he'll talk about getting us a gym membership, which I'd love, but then he'll talk about limiting my time in there because he wants me to be "a little squishy" then he'll start talking sexual, along those lines he's said "Ill just tie you down when I leave so you can only exercise when I'm around" (wild because he doesn't let me when hes around already but okay).

Like we joke prolly too much about mental illness stuff and traumatic things we've been through, but those comments felt a different, he was smiling, and I laugh because its absurd, but I dont know, it just doesn't really feel like a joke. I guess maybe I feel like I'm being wishywashed all over.

I also wanna add that I do indeed eat regularly. I fast maybe a couple days out of the week and its mostly unintentionally because of the hours I work, when I realized I havent ate I will find something. He makes it out like I go for a week with out just because I dont want a big ahh meal.

Reading this back to myself and the only thing I can think of is maybe he's spiraling? I'm just looking for any ideas I dont want him to feel shitty. Its just a little hard to believe because we're so open on everything, we have been through so many of the same experiences, including this one... its not like its a constant brigade of odd phrases but it is growing in frequency and bleeding into texts as well.

I have tried to talk about it, admittedly I have pushed on the exercising, it went as so:

Me: I'm gonna do a couple push ups and some crunches real quick.

Him: Good idea, I should do some too.

Me: We could do them ~together~.

Him: yeah but the cats are on me.

Me: theyll come back.

Him: and there's clothes on the floor.

It just goes on like that until I give up and then he starts telling me I dont need to work out, talking sexual and that im perfect an all that, like sir I just dont want a flat ass omgggg.

Sigh I'm just getting frustrated now, I have been trying to have a serious conversation on his adversions and mentioned how the things he says doesn't really help my phyche, it makes me dwell worse like I am now, but hes just almost giddy about it.

Am I just worrying for nothin??

Is he drinking too much and just saying shit? And if thats so are they sober thoughts???

I could go on forever, just looking for any sort of advice.

sorry this is messy.