[In progress] [7.9k] [Fantasy Psychological/ Tragedy] Echoes of The Unforgotten

Hey everyone, looking for any and all feedback I can get, DM if interested.
The story is divided into Acts, currently on act 2 part 1 so I have 3 Acts written.

Here is a short blurb:
In a once-peaceful medieval world, the sudden appearance of a colossal, mysterious Core granted random people magic — and ignited a brutal war. Davor, son of an inn-keeping family, was at the heart of the event that birthed the Core and took the life of his closest friend, Elaina. Bound to it and cursed with immortality, he wanders a fractured continent, torn between guilt over its downfall and the hope of bringing Elaina back — even if it means destroying the power keeping him alive.

Here is a little excerpt for any one interested:

Davor (sobbing): Wait. W- Where are you going? I still need you to protect me.

 Davor then tries his best to keep up. He starts to run.

 Elaina (trying to hide her tears with a smile): haha. I know you do, you were always such a cry baby.

Elaina then extends her hand towards him, wiping a tear off his eye and softly sliding it across his cheek. Davor tries to catch her hand but phases through her as she slowly starts to disappear. In her last moments, Elaina leaves Davor with a whisper.