My abusive ex boyfriend got engaged to a girl with the same first and middle name as mine. One year and two months after our breakup.

The situation is puzzling and worrisome. Considering he tried contacting me (f23) several months leading to their engagement. For starters my ex Z (m23) is in the Marine Corps reserves in the same platoon with my ex best friend. Following our breakup he and I both moved to different states me to TN and him to Austin.

Our relationship started off amazing. I was on the poorer side and had been working two jobs at the university I attended while his income was supplemented through a connection he’d made with a very wealthy Yacht and mail-machine refurbishing owner. However he had this thing where he loved to brag about his exes. Lavish dates he took them on and other things that bothered me very much. One night I asked him why he was being stingy. I asked him to purchase me a burger worth $5 and he said no (I didn’t have my card and we’d been going half for everything). However his previous ex and him were pulled over resulting in him paying closer to $800 for lawyers, something she wasn’t grateful for in the end. The conversation was exasperated by the fact he hated I was poor. So, he grabbed my arm and squeezed it until it bruised. This started a long road of him becoming angry, trying to control if I could drink, what I could eat, how I worshipped at church (we met at church), how I could speak or post, who I could be friends with. Several times he’d threatened to k*ll me. He’d dig his nails into my thighs, grab my face and squeezed, slam his forehead into mine, and dragged me across a room for saying a cuss word. Told me he hated me and after all of this we called it quits. Not before telling me he dated me out of obligation and that he never truly loved me. This is just a VERY small snippet of what he’s done to me.

After arriving in TN directly following the breakup I started experiencing these “symptoms.” I would hyperventilate when seeing his posts or being to shake when I saw his car, he had no problem showing up at my house when we’d argue back in our home town, and it got to the point where I received a PTSD diagnosis. I’d sworn off dating to further my career and mental health which had both been going amazing! Not to mention being alone with guys, especially in cars where z would always be the angriest, that was scary.

He was in Austin and started posting his lavish life, which is funny considering he developed a gambling addiction while we were together, one he blamed me for. It wasn’t long before he called me sep 22, 2025 telling me a joke and asking to call him back. Then in January 2026 I remade my Snapchat to which he started viewing my stories up until February and it is important to note he also added me on Snapchat in January 2026. Come to find out he hard launches his new girlfriend Feb 14th 2026 who was the complete opposite of who he tried to mold me into. Tattoos, drinking, provocative photos, smoker, and officially proposed to her on March 13 2026 with a wedding secured for you guessed it, around the same date he asked me to be his girlfriend!

That’s not even the worst part. Through ALL of this leading up to the engagement announcement he’d been trying to keep tabs on me through my best friend who was in his unit. Asking how me and my sister were. What I was doing. If I was liking it in Tennessee.

Don’t misunderstand, I wouldn’t want her to be hurt the way I was. However I know patterns and Z’s patterns are interwoven into his soul. He is an evil, evil man. Who uses his strength, charm, Whitt, and unfortunately good looks (halo affect) to hurt. Am I saying his decision to date someone with the same exact first and middle name as me AND our last names rhyme is something strategic…potentially. It’s hard when someone’s a narcissist like that. I had started letting his Marine Corps buddies in on what he was doing…especially the girlfriends. After the Marine Corps Ball he told me he should have “never brought me.” And that he was “going to fuck me up.” For asking for an espresso martini like all the other 0311’s were getting for their girls. So they were seeing it but no one said ANYTHING. I felt…lost and alone. It was like drowning with a bunch of life guards around. Everyone thought so highly of him that whatever I spoke became null n void.

Now I am unsure of how to feel. I never wanted to be back with him…but my heart is hurt and it feels like I’m taking steps backwards. I was able to stop hyperventilating and shaking for several months following the phone call (when it started) but I relapsed the moment I saw their photos.