I'm afraid of death, what should I do?

Could you please give me some advice and pray for me? I (F26) think I'm experiencing another spiritual attack. Let me explain: I had panic attacks and fears of death last year, two months before a blessing from God that I had been waiting for for two years. At the time, I understood that these weren't normal panic attacks; I have them occasionally, but not with this intensity.

After days of prayer, they disappeared, and I received my blessing two months later. Now, I'm going to receive this blessing next month. I'm moving abroad, and I've had an existential crisis, not a panic attack, but a great deal of fear and underlying stress. It's horrible; it's kept me awake at night for the past two days. It actually started randomly. I was just looking for a romance series to watch on Netflix, and I stumbled upon one that had nothing to do with the synopsis. The two main characters, who seemed happy, die and become ill. Anyway, it triggered an extremely intense fear of death.

Last year it wasn't the same; it was the pain of my panic attack that made me afraid of dying. Now it's more the fear that there's nothing after, emptiness, pain. Even though I've been in Christ for two or three years, it's been a long journey. I met Jesus eight years ago, but I abandoned Him because of depression for three years. I listened to astrology and consulted fortune tellers. I repented and gave all that up, but I still feel guilty about my past, especially since I had a disability during that time, and secretly I think it's God's punishment to have distanced me from Him. Some sisters in Christ have told me no, but deep down I doubt it.

Furthermore, I feel like I'm never praying regularly enough, especially these past two months. I can't seem to find a good rhythm; I barely sleep at night, all I do is homework and studying. I'm in my final year of high school, and then I'm finally entering the workforce. I've been looking forward to it so much, and now that this stressful period is about to end, I feel like my brain is looking for another problem, or it's a spiritual attack like last time, as I'm about to realize my dream.

I'm afraid my faith will be affected, and I'm afraid it will say that I doubt Jesus.

What do you think? I'm open to any helpful advice. Please be gentle in your responses; I'm very sensitive.

sorry for my english , i'm not american.

Thank you!