What should I do?

hi, i’ve (19/F) been talking to this guy i’m going to call Connor(24/M) as really good friends for a few months. last night we both got really, really drunk and he confessed that he liked me. lately he’s been super emotionally vulnerable and told me some things that are a little worrying so i panicked in the moment and said i felt the same way.

it’s going to get messy now, i’ve been seeing a different guy i’m going to call Ethan (22/M) for a little shorter than ive known Connor for, although nothing is official between us i feel like my hands are tied. I want things to work out between Ethan and I but i’m scared of what Connor will do if i tell him the truth. part of me is hoping he was drunk enough to not remember but at the end of the day, i lied, and he still feels the same way about me.

should i lie for Connor’s sake and fake it, let us drift apart in a natural way? i worry if i tell him what i truely feel he’ll do something to himself as he’s threatened so many times. last night was one of those occasions where i dragged him out to a bar to ease his mind instead of driving to god knows where and hurting himself. neither of them know about each other, i figured there was no relevance so i can’t ask Ethan for advice because it feels like im going behind his back, and in a way i am.

i am completely aware that i got myself into this situation and ultimately i am at fault, it felt like the right thing to do and i understand and am aware that whatever happens from now on is on me.