Lost my elder brother

I lost my elder brother 3 weeks ago.

He was one of the smartest doctors and hardest-working people I knew. He had recently joined MD General Medicine after securing a rank around 2k nationwide. He was very ambitious and had worked for years to get there.

But within 2 weeks of joining, everything changed. He lost interest, became deeply depressed, and later I found from his laptop that he had been worrying a lot about his original documents, the fine, and his career. He felt trapped.

He ended up taking his own life.

What hurts me the most is that I didn’t fully understand how serious his condition was. I keep thinking that if he had told me everything openly, I could have helped him somehow, maybe by reassuring him about the money, the fine, or the fact that there were still other ways forward.

Now I’m left with grief, guilt and a lot of unanswered questions. He was a good person, brilliant, hardworking, and deserved a better ending than this.

I don’t even know exactly why I’m posting this. Maybe I just wanted to say it somewhere people might understand.