advice??

hii okay so this may be a long one.. recently i’ve been shaving down there with eos shave cream after dry shaving and against the grain for a year now (my friend told me to start using the eos). i notice its darker than the rest of my skin and also bumps, i want to start caring for it more and idk where to start..

i’m coming here to ask for help because everywhere i search, i have to be a certain age to use the items they recommend or it’s just really expensive. i’m on a budget and i want stuff i can get from walmart/amazon which is cheap and discreet (reason being is because i don’t want my dad knowing where i’m using these items).

i’m scared to talk to my mom about it because the last time i talked to her about it she took it as “you’re only trying to care for it so you could have sex” which is not true. she didn’t even want me to shave down there for that same reason (i did because the odor was so bad). i also have smegma(?) which doesn’t go away at all (i go down and clean every day) and idk what to do for that. at times i smell myself which makes me feel really bad about myself.

i’ve heard about exfoliating which i want to try and also the toner from “the ordinary” brand to help with the color difference. my friend also recommended aloe vera?? today i tried vaseline down there on the outside and not inside so idk if that’s good for it orrr…

i’m so uneducated on it since i never properly had a conversation with my mom or doctor about it so any help and advice for me would be appreciated.