I didn’t do enough

I served for 10 years active duty in a non combat job. Witn that being said I did see my fair share of death from isr feeds. But ever since I left I feel empty. I know I could have done more and I want to do more. Unfortunately I don’t think I can get past Meps to rejoin. And I don’t think anything but the military can fill that need I feel inside. How are you guy finding that sense of purpose aside from abusing substances?