I broke up with my now ex and deeply regret it

TLDR

I broke up with my girlfriend and she is doing better without me. I want her back and it’s not reciprocated.

I’ve never made a post before but now I feel the need to reach out, I’m spiraling and I feel like my life has suddenly stopped

My (ex) girlfriend has always had a lying issue, it caused problems in all her past relationships and has even been detrimental to our own. With me, she was trying hard to overcome it. She started going to therapy, started taking medicine for potential BPD and anxiety, and she was working on being more honest within the relationship.

Time and time again though there were setbacks that kept effecting mentally and I didn’t know what to do, the cycle kept repeating itself. The last time it happened was around four months ago, and in my mind the only way to break the cycle was to remove myself from it, so I broke up with her. I wanted her to understand the gravity of her lying and how it affected everyone around her.

I stayed in contact the entire time, she was my best friend, and I tried to offer her support from the outside. We stayed close and even had a little FWB in the middle of it all. I tried to make it clear that I didn’t want to give her false hope and she acknowledged that but got false hope anyways.

She eventually came to the realization of how serious the situation was and had a deep depressive spell for a while. She fought through and crawled out of it on her own and started self improving.

Fast forward to now, and she is mentally doing good, has expanded her friend group, and started building her life back up. I saw her changing for the better and mentioned I wanted to work on things with her to rebuild the relationship and she agreed, only to then get cold feet when I told her how I felt about her. We lived together for almost a year and all my stuff is still in the house where I left it (I moved to Europe for school, so we were LDR on top of it all).

Now that I am getting all my emotions for her again, she isn’t reciprocating and I feel like my life is falling apart. I always envisioned us getting back together in the future once she was able to work on herself on her own, but I’m afraid her self improvement also means moving on past me. I just want my life and future back with her and I don’t know what to do with this pain and loss. I feel like I’m going through the breakup all over again.

I did the bad thing where you sen back to back messages confessing your deepest feelings and I’ve sent her a couple calls knowing I’d get ignored. I just don’t know how to stop making a fool of myself and move forward in a healthy manner. I just want my girl back so bad.