I feel broken. Unrequited love,

Im a guy been in love with my straight best friend for almost a decade now, he’s the closest person in my life and vice versa. We spend almost all the time with each other. I did confess my feelings for him, but he said he felt nothing and couldn’t reciprocate them to me.

I’ve tried hard to date other people, speak to other people, and let things go, but no matter how hard i try, things can’t change, they’re not changing I still feel the same about him and I end my relationships because I know I can’t love someone else when I still love my friend because I end up feeling nothing for the others. And it’s breaking me more and more, a crushing feeling.

He’s been in a relationship for the last year, and he’s getting married later this year. My feelings haven’t faded and he wants me to be his Best Man. It’s not as simple as saying no, I’m going to be around him, his wife, for the rest of my life, from every milestone that occurs I’ll know from actually seeing it in person, or hearing it from one person or the other, as his family are close family friends with mine, and live in the same town as myself, and my family, to the point where visits are a weekly occurrence. So it’s also not as easy cutting off the friendship or creating a distance.

I’m struggling with this in a crazy away, and I don’t want to relapse and destroy other parts of my life.

Any advice on how to get through this, or is there anyone who has, or is in a similar situation? Or anyone who has seen the light at the end of a tunnel.

Yours truly,

A closeted gay man.