I have to stop, but I dont know how

I have a couple of other posts here. Recently discarded 35 y/o male recently discarded by 34 y/o female partner and mother of my children.

I keep going through messages, and screenshotting all my apologies, all my loving texts, and all my attempts to help her.

Im doing it because she thinks I was nothing but a cold hearted bastard for our whole 10 year relationship.

She called me an hour ago, just to talk, and complain about her heart palpitations that she always blamed on me, but shes having them still even when im not in her life. It seemed like I was able to calm her down, and the conversation went to us going to a cabin getaway for a weekend.

WTF

The ups and downs of me thinking shes done, then she throws me crumbs. It's not healthy for me, but i fucking love her so im going to eat the crumbs every fucking time. I have therapy tomorrow. Just in time lol.