I have had a crush on a guy for 2 years

I’ve had a crush on guy for 2 years. In 2024 Jan I took “the hardest” intro to finance my uni offers and knowing that I would struggle with it I used a resource given my the prof and emailed 3 tutors asking for there availability and rate. 1 of the 3 answered and we set up our first tutoring session. From the first session I knew that it wouldn’t really work because of the way he explained the concepts. Similar to myself His explanation process was all over the place but I knew what he was trying to say and I thought he was cute so I stayed and kept meeting him every week (online btw).

During one of sessions I explained that I knew how to get the correct answer to a question but didn’t really understand the reason for the approach and also the major concept and hand he replied with “you understood how we got here but need more info on the story behind it”, and I felt seen. Pathetic I know. From the moment on I was hyper aware of how I presented and was attending less to understand and more to just see this Man Terribly explain financial concepts that I would then have to go and solidify on my own later.

I even saw him In the elevator once and wanted to say hey, but thought it’d be weird. Since then I have not thought of any other guy as attractive and have a had a crush on him. I see him around campus sometimes but again I am very shy sometimes.

I am about to graduate now and guess it just one of those things that would’ve never happened. Kinda sad about it.