My husband doesn’t want me to leave my 150k job

35F married to 36M. I work at a startup in the bay area, CA. Earn 150k+year and have some equity in the company. My husband works contract role for a tech company. He makes less than me.

A bit about me:

I moved to the USA 10 years ago. I have had really difficult time in the beginning. Living paycheck to paycheck. Before moving, I was married to a toxic narcissist who drained my energy and spark. So, for a total of 15 years I have been living in survival mode, stressed, anxious.

Before startup I was working remotely in a less stressful job. Though at one point, due to a colleague leaving, I had to do 2 people’s job. During that time I had a panic attack, with chest pains and had to go to ER. My EKG was not totally normal and my D Dimer was slightly high. Doc did CT scan. Everything was ok. Ruled it as anxiety related chest pains. That incidence completely shook me because a friend much younger than me passed away due to heart attack that same year. I was so anxious and stressed. Took two weeks off work. I truly thought i was going to die. During this time, I did not have much emotional support from my husband who kept telling me that i am over thinking the whole situation and that nothing will happen to me.

The reason I switched jobs was because financially i was stagnant and all my paycheck was going to mortgage. My husband contributes, in the sense that I can take money from his account at any time and use it for bills or investing in stocks. Previously I was making 100k and at the startup i am making 150k. It’s a big jump. I have been here 5 months.

The problem is, 9-5 doesn’t bring me fulfillment. I want to focus on my side gig which is related to investing and makes me 600-800 per month. But this is because I can’t give it time due to my job which is heavily demanding. Somedays I am working from 8-am- 8pm at my job. I also have to commute long hours twice a week. Those days completely drain ny energy and make me extremely sad and miserable.

Recently, I had a depressive episode and had chest pains again, though mild. I didn’t go to ER. Next two days, I showed online but didn’t work much. And watched TV all day to relax.

I told my husband I want to quit (I have been telling that for about 2 months now). My husband feels I am overthinking this whole thing. He says investing can also bring me stress, then why leave the job. I told him that the job makes me feel miserable and unhappy but investing makes me happy, even if it comes with stress.

He is not having it. He is saying you are not at a financially solid place to leave your job.

But I know that if I don’t leave now, I will drag my job for a year and then leave. My side gig wont grow much because i wont have time.

But if I leave now, I can save my health. Health is number 1 for me because my mom has heart issues, 45% blockage in an artery. I don’t want to be headed down the same path. I can focus on my side gig and grow it. I want to be financially free and live my life to the fullest because for the past 15 years I have only seen hardship and stress.

My biggest goal in life is to be financially free. The HAPPIEST day of my life will be when i leave my 9-5. I have wanted to do that for the last 5 years.

I am so exhausted. My body is telling me its time to quit the grind but my husband is not taking my health seriously.

Please tell me, am I being unrealistic and unreasonable wanting to leave my job?