Going from Remote to In Office - Advice Please

TL;DR: Looking for some advice on how to make the switch from remote/hybrid to 4 days a week in-office as doable as possible while battling mom guilt.

Tomorrow I start my new job. This is one of those "pinnacle career moments." I live in a rural-ish area as a fundraiser in the nonprofit sector. After nearly 10 years of trying, I've gotten a job at one of the best employers in my region. It's a huge moment for my family - better pay, less work responsibility from my previous job, encouraged work/life balance & boundaries, incredible benefits. This moment feels big, exciting, overwhelming. All the things.

While I wish I could only feel the excitement, a combination of imposter syndrome and anxiety about change has me in a panic this evening. My marriage is unbalanced in mental load and actual housework in large part because I have worked nearly entirely remote since my son was born two and a half years ago (and even before while I was pregnant). The imbalance is taking it's toll on my marriage. The hope is, I go back in-office (my husband has a totally in-person job as a Wastewater Operator), we go through some growing pains, we figure out real balance. The worry is ... well, the balance never comes. I'm doing "double shift" and I'm really not going to put up with this much longer as it is.

For nearly three years it's been ... kiddo is sick, contractor needs to be managed, pets need to go to the vet, husband forgot there are 5 days in the working week to meal plan for, boxes need to be dropped off, etc etc etc - I've got it. I'll move my work schedule, I'll work at 4am, I'll work until 11pm, I'll work over the weekend. Isn't this so flexible? Isn't this so wonderful to have this time? Isn't this so great the house can flow so well? Except my husband just gets to work his job and I get to balance it all. It became golden handcuffs. So, I'm removing the handcuffs.

I'm also concerned about the big shift this is going to cause for our son and our dog. The dog is easier to summarize - she's used to a WFH pet mom and will now be by herself 4 days a weem. I did hire a dog walker 2 days a week to see what happens. We're installing a doggie door into the sliding glass door so she can go outside during the day. Even so, I'm nervous.

I do drop-off every morning for our son... so, the wakeup, the tantrums, the clothes, the tooth brush wrestling, the snack bribing to get to the car, the horrible emotional dropoffs. My husband is at work by 6am, but he is able to do pick-up. Happy, easy, here's my art project Dad, pick-up. Our son tends to sleep in - sometimes as late as 8:15am. Starting tomorrow, he'll need to be an early drop-off kid. 7:30am drop-off, when I used to bring him in between 8:30 - 9:00am. We live in an area with a 4 day school week, so we do not have care on Fridays for our son. Despite my new employer being 100% in-person, they have made an exception for me. I'll be working four 9-hour days (8am - 5pm) Monday through Thursday, and 4 hours remote on Friday. My husband just changed his work schedule to four-9s + one-4 as well (6am - 3:30pm Mon - Thurs, 7am -11am Fri). Typically, I would be home when my husband brought our son home around 5pm. I might have dinner going, and if not, I'd definitely have a snack out. With my commute time, I'll be losing 30-45 minutes in the evening with our son. I'm devastated about this, as it really feels like every minute as a working mom is so precious. However, I won't be working late nights, early mornings, or weekends anymore for the sake of "flexibility." I get to keep my Fridays with my son - I'll work early that day and then again over naptime, or I'll work in the afternoon when my husband gets home.

All that said - I would love some advice. We have no village (a long story for a different day) and it's just the two of us (I think also causing the strain). I will have some WFH flexibility if there is an illness or other home emergency, but the expectation is to be in person.

•What meals is everybody cooking when you're getting home at 5pm and trying to serve dinner at 6pm?

•Summer crockpot recipes?

•How do you manage interruptions like illness, home emergencies, pet care?

•Any advice for this "Am I really good enough for this moment?" imposter syndrome?

•How do you make the most of your evenings with the kids?

•When do you fit in workouts? I'm thinking I may need to become a "4am Mom" because my husband leaves the house at 5:15am - yes, I can workout from home, but then why do I have a gym membership?

Just feeling pretty lost and intimidated in the unknown when so much has been on me for so long.