I have a crush ony my teacher and it's ruining my life and mental health.

First of all: all the angry people pls leave. I do not want my teacher to lose his job or go to jail. I do not plan on telling him or doing anything about this crush. This crush is a burden to me and I really hate it. It messes with my life. All I want is to stop feelings I have.

First of all, I dont have any close friends. And Im in an age where I want to have a partner but I dont see any potential partners. Older men look better to me as they are more mature than my peers, but of course no healthy older man will date people much younger than him. And I need good friends. And I dont have any. This leads to me getting into limerence relationships.

Soo

Im in hs right now. Midyear I transferred to orchestra because my other electives were unbearable, and even though everyone told me that its not possible to transfer it actually was, with many tears, skipped classes, and awkward convos I did it.

Well, some time after I started developing crush on the teacher. Hes smart and good looking, well mannered. Tbh, he is kind of like a man from a book.

It doenst help that since as a new student, I need help with many things, as I transferred mid year and have to login to everywhere and this leads to talking to the teacher. I, even though I do have experience with music and can read sheet music, I still have to learn the instrument Im playing in orchestra. And this means I have to spent time with him and learn.

Many thoughts appear when Im near him. Theyre distracting. I hate them. Mostly Im scared. Everyday I have panic attacks before his class. I hate myself for this crush

And yet I still like the class, everyone. I just dont like this stupid crush I developed. Every my thought is focused on this crush and it messes with my self image and esteem.

When I have free period, I can go to his class because the instrument I play is not available in my home and I need practice. Besides, its the end of year and my parents dont see any reason to buy an instrument.

I also have to do an assigment where I have to record myself playing a solo. I dont have the site with sheet music so it means asking him again. I can do it on email, of course. But he answers much slowly there.

So, Ive been thinking to stop attending any extra periods and only go to his class when it is on the schedule. To stop talking to him at all and try to do everything on my own. I dont see other way. Because the thoughts Ive been having.. Im very afraid I can let myself down.

So do I stop interacting completely, and going in orchestra room to practice during free time? Is there anything to do to reduce this crush?