Always on my mind

I lost my best friend suddenly and unexpectedly in Nov 2024. I found her. She was in my life every single day for ten years. Something I hadn’t fully registered until the police on the day were asking about her life. We spoke everyday in person, texted/voice notes in the evenings when we were apart. I told her everything that was happening in my life, and vice versa. I miss her so much that I can’t seem to enjoy anything. I was on holiday this week and normally whenever I was away, she’d be the first person to message me to check how the flight was, she’d always track the flight on a flight tracker app and send the pic. Today I was back home and tried to watch something to take my mind off missing my old life. In the show the person was talking about losing their partner but all I kept thinking of was finding my best friend dead that day. Whilst the telly was on, I just re-lived that moment of when I found her. Is that normal? I’m finding myself thinking about that day more and more. I know it’s been a year and 4 months but it feels like ages ago and just yesterday too. Sundays are always hard because it was a Sunday. I don’t know what I’m asking but I just needed to get that off my chest. I can’t help but miss everything about her. She was my one person who I could talk to about anything and now I don’t have that. I have other people but I can’t seem to open up to them like I did her. I don’t think I’ll ever have that again. It sucks. I miss having my best friend. Just seeing little things all over make me think of her and things I can’t enjoy fully anymore because it just hurts.