If I’m being honest…

If I’m being honest I’m hurt by you. Your actions don’t match your words. Some of it is my problem for putting too many expectations into the times we see each other since it’s not that often anymore. But it shows me that I probably just feel more for you than you do for me. Which is pretty typical. I wish you knew how much I look forward to seeing you when I know we’re going to be working together. Then maybe you’d know how bad it hurts when you spend the entire shift talking to them. And I wish you knew I’ve felt tempted to reach out to you the past few weeks, but I feel like you are never alone and the last thing I want to do is start drama or be embarrassed more if you don’t respond or want to talk to me and more people know I tried.

I just really hate this hot and cold energy between us. I want to be around you so bad and talk to you and get to know you and build a friendship and just look in your eyes and feel my stomach do those flips they like to do when you look at me for more than 3 seconds. I know things are complicated right now and maybe that’s why the distance is there. I hope it is. Maybe when other situations clear up that will get better. That is the hope I cling to anyways. Right now it feels like the universe is keeping us apart on purpose. I hope you’re happy and that we can have a chance one day soon.