I don’t know if I want to meet my birth dad or not…

so it’s kind of a long story, but I’m adopted, my birth mom I’m pretty sure it is in rehab and I’ve been in touch with my Birth dad for about three years now. The reason I’m unsure about meeting up with him or not is because I used to always look up to them until I becoming of age and realized the truth behind stuff. I used to admire my birth mother until my Half Bro said that she was abusive and gaslighting him. About a decade ago, my Birth dad adopted my half brother. For the past two years, I started realizing things. My Half Bro is not my Birth dad‘s blood. And one day I started thinking and my mind went to a dark place thinking that why would my Birth dad adopt my half brother but leave me to go through hell? Even when I’m his blood? But I still love him. I just don’t know what to do.