I don't know what to do

I just really need help. I have been struggling with loneliness and depression for the past year and it's made even worse with my horrific social anxiety which has made it near impossible to try and talk to anyone. It's been so hard for me to get out of bed in the morning so I can go to class, work, the gym etc. all of which I need to do but just don't have the energy for, there have been days where I call out and pretend i'm sick just so I can stay home and lay down and think, and those days are somehow even worse, I lay down and think about myself and how much I hate myself, how much I hate my body, how much I hate my brain, how ugly and useless I feel, how pathetic it is that I feel this way, how stupid I feel, and how tired I am of thinking this shit. It's funny, a lot of the stuff I mentioned I can easily change (I already have a gym membership, I have a job, and I'm doing great in school) but fuck it's just so hard to get up and try especially when I know I won't have friends to play or hang out with, or a partner to talk to and hold. I want to change, I want to break free of this cycle but I don't know how.