37F… it may not be in the cards for me :(

A bit of a rant. Just need to get it out of my system.

I’ll be 37 soon and still single.

expectations < reality

soooooo disappointed that my family planning is essentially hopeless.

Every morning I wake up alone and I pretend I’m okay. Coming from a broken home my childhood dream, what I worked so hard towards is becoming infinitely more improbable as the days go by (I want the chaos of a home: tantrums, moody teenagers, toys on the floor, being stressed, etc).

Honestly, I’m broken hearted. I’m trying to come to terms with the reality of my situation and it has been difficult. Two of my siblings are trying for, friends and acquaintances are pregnant left and right.. it’s when I’m alone at home that it hits me. Dinner for one.

I’ve considered other options and I know that I am not able to be a single parent. Dating apps do not and have not worked for me.

Settling into life as the single cat lady who gardens.