He Is Not Her

He is steady water.

He is open sky.

He is a hand that does not let go.

He makes me feel safe.

He makes me feel chosen.

He makes me feel wanted.

He is everything a good woman

should want.

And I have tried

to be a good woman.

I have tried to press the past

into something smaller.

To fold it.

To burn it.

To let it turn into the wind.

But some loves do not end.

The smoke got caught in my chest,

found its way into my bloodstream,

settled into the quiet corners

of my heart.

And one day,

if I am not careful,

he will wake beside me

and see it.

The thin gray ghost

curling from my breath.

He will know

he deserves

a love without echoes.

And in the end,

no matter how kind he is,

no matter how hard I try

to be whole.

I am just a woman

And

He is not her.