Thinking about relapsing

My wife is lying to me about her gambling, and she's a terrible liar. I confronted her today about how I can tell she spent over 250k in the last year and didn't save anything for taxes, which is why she's been avoiding the conversation about it. Just excuse about how we both spent the money. No we did not and yes I have receipts. This is year 3 of a blowout at tax time because it's the time of year all of her secrets have to come out.

I quit drinking over 3 years ago and even though I didn't want to save our relationship because I saw it was hurting her and it made me a bad partner. I did it out of love. I put her before what I wanted to do. Why can't I get the same respect? What have I done to deserve constant betrayal?

I don't have anyone in my life I can talk to about it. I just wanted to tell someone. This is where I came when I first quit drinking. I made an account with a username that nobody would think could be me. Chairs.