Your sign to not do it

i did it twice 2 years ago. i met a guy who was on drugs and i was getting into them as well. I had been thinking about running away for some time, but he really convinced me i had to do it. i ended up in a car with a drunk driver and some guys id never met. i thought it was so fun and i felt so free, i was excited to start a new lifestyle which was the absolute worst one you could imagine and would have ended me in prison or dead in about 10 years. i have turned my life around now, and while i can say my times out were a hell of an experience, id never advise anyone to do it, even if they were with someone who cared deeply about them.

i was so done with life, dealing with abuse from my parent and the lifestyle i was living had me really low. i cant imagine how i would have survived if it had just been me, i honestly think some worse stuff would have happened to me. when i came back a ton of my friends hated me for not telling them what i was doing, (i didnt plan on coming back at first). But a good number of my friends thought i was so cool and mysterious for what i did, someone actually said to me "you did what everyone only dreams of." and while it felt good for a moment, it made me remember everything i lost for the thrill. I was in a horrible state of mind from the drugs i was doing and i was so influenced by the guy i was with that i was the worst version of me, hurting everyone who ever cared and convincing myself life was meant to be hell. i ended up having to choose between juvie and a mental hospital, and i chose the hospital.

i did turn myself in though so i cant imagine what the consequences would have been if i was just found. since almost 3 years ago now ive been telling anyone whos planning that i meet that its just not worth it. even if you dont get into drugs, but being on the street its everywhere. there were people helping us sometimes and those people could have gotten serious jail time for us even contacting them. i know what its like to feel so stuck you have to do something crazy to break free, i really really do. i was in legal trouble for missing so much school and had to finish high school at a continuation school or i would have graduated late.

i was supposed to be in juvie but we moved before my court date and it was dismissed. please when youre coming up with a plan in your head, think about things realistically. i promise you dont want to end up like me. im better mentally now, but i have nobody around me, im in a new state, and its very hard for me to do anything because of my situation right now. please unless your life is in serious danger, reconsider. i hated with my whole being when i was told to "just wait youre almost 18" at 16. i felt like the world was gonna end and i just had to turn to the streets. im currently still living in my childhood home but i am working on a way out legally

. it isnt fun to constantly look over your shoulder because you might get stabbed by a homeless man or get arrested, or sleeping in rocks on the side of a freeway because you couldnt find anywhere else. 2 years seemed like forever before it happened and now it feels like just yesterday i came home and my life seemed so bland and empty. for the sake of your mental and physical wellbeing, dont do it if you dont have to. and if you do, NEVER go alone and NEVER go with a significant other. if you read this and youre still serious i wouldnt even mind if you contact me on here, because ive been down that road and i can tell you what you have to do if you really want to get away. It was a crazy ass experience and Im honestly lucky i listened to my gut, but i should have sooner. I will probably always be traumatized from the guy and the whole time period. be safe out there guys.