bf committed after i left him

hi this happened 2 weeks ago 0-3 hours after i left his house, i’m 17 btw but i found some texts on his phone from his ex girlfriend. i didn’t scroll so high up but she was saying how she feels so bad for me and that he only texts when he’s bored. i took that as cheating and i told him i had to go and on text i showed him a pic i took of their chats and called him a piece of shit :( i also told him i texted his mom and the girl. he also had sent me apology saying it was a “one time thing” and said it was when our relationship was slowing down because we hadn’t seen each other irl for a bit. seems like excuses but i told him im not reading his apology. when i said i texted the girl he told me “dont” and the was the last text i heard from him. i regret not texting him saying lets talk later or calling him idk ANYTHING but i didn’t because he wasn’t texting or calling or trying to fix this so i just got even more hurt and mad

and i got a call later that day from his mom saying he was dead

but the thing is his ex girlfriend was 13 (he was 19 at the time. but they texted recently hes 20 now) apparently ages he told the girl he would khs if he ever got found out about. but i’m blaming myself really badly and he wrote that hes a piece of shit and doesn’t deserve to live in his note. i have his mom texting me blaming me saying it wasn’t cheating and shes telling everyone what i “did” saying all of it happened online and its not real etc. lots of degrading stuff which i understand because she just lost her son but i cant help to think i was being just dramatic :( was what i did reasonable, me getting mad and leaving his house? i was hurt and well cheating or not its still betraying my trust. and he 100% did love me i am so serious he really did and ya i mean i found out he was telling his friend he’s good at convincing me that we have a future and said “these games r too easy” a month after we met and was sending nudes to his other ex and then ANOTHER ex that he was talking to at that time (i had zero clue) but all of that was off and on till right before we met IRL and we weren’t exactly confirmed yet. thought i found out he’d cheat on a lot of his ex’s so 😅😅 either way he loved me and i was the one who got to him!!!! its very sad and a huge setback, i’m not sure how im supposed to move past this he was my first love and first IRL boyfriend. i know all this stuff doesn’t make him look the best but he had a rough childhood and always tried his best for everyone even himself he’d feel regret and stuff about certain things, was always very sweet and giving to everybody :(