Is this a good way to show appreciation to my dad?

I am an autistic girl. I love my dad, I really do. But I feel like I never do enough. I know that I dont. He wants to be in my life so bad but I feel like I'm never humoring it or taking the time to spend the time with him that he asks to spend with me. I just wish I could tell him that I love him. That I'm not going anywhere. That he means so much to me even if it seems otherwise but its always so hard to just the words. I tell him I love him but in the way that you do when you say goodnight because its second nature and you dont think about it that much. I want to let it all out. I remember when I was little and I said I'd never want to stop playing with him and that I'd never grow away from him but I feel like its exactly what's going on now and I don't know how to stop it. I remember laughing and playing with him. It hurts because I can't go back and I can't tell him I still love him the way I used to. We used to do so much together and I feel awful. I just wish I could go back and change the way I evolved so it wouldn't be this way. I don't wanna grow up . sometimes I think about how he'll have to die eventually and it makes me so sad because. I love him so much and I don't want to go anywhere and I don't want him to go anywhere yet, he is in his mid 30s. I love my dad so much. He's a funny and sweet man. I am still a teen. He's there. I'm there. But we barely know much about each other anymore. I want to reach out... So earlier today I wrote a poem to see if I could express it. I put it on his office desk as he's out for his court volunteering. Is this is a good poem? I would really love feedback.​

W​hat Does a Solider Mean?

​My dad is a solider,

even through the night.

​​​He would hold me tight,

as I drift off in thought.

All doors locked,

no secrets untold.

My dad is a solider,

no matter where he goes.

On days I don't see him,

I know he is fighting.

On days I forget to tell him -

 with my heart and lungs extracted,

"I love you,"

I hope he can feel it, deep inside.

My dad is a solider,

and I am the princess

he would carry on his back.

My dad is a solider, 

and even through the night,

he is my number one hero.