Debating on ending friendship etc

My whole life I’ve always felt tucked to the side in other people’s lives and forgotten about. As I’ve grown older and noticed that it’s actually true, it’s caused me to become depressed and upset. My immediate family does this all the time and as I’m grappling the reality of that and debating on if I want to bring it up to them, one of my best friends recently has made me feel weird about our friendship.

To note: I dropped out of high school when I was 16 because I got pregnant and my child was born premature. Most of my friends at that time didn’t stick around and I was too caught up in my horrible relationship and stressing over my child’s health. My child’s father had a childhood friend who had a girlfriend. We’ll call her Emma. Emma became a close friend of mine quickly because of how similar we were but also because she needed someone to lean on and so did I as we didn’t really have friends. When I left my relationship and told the couple all the horrible things my ex had said behind their backs, they stayed friends with me and ditched him.

Im in my early 20s now and our friendship has been stable but distant. Emma works in the trades and is constantly busy and dealing with her own issues. I try my hardest to keep in contact with her but this past year and a half has been hard.

Emma used to have 2 best friends when she was younger and when I met her they weren’t friends anymore and no contact and she would tell me how much she missed them. Well, in late 2024 they started talking again and I was happy for her but immediately started seeing the draw backs.

This September had been the hardest. I lost my grandfather and other hard stuff had been happening. I texted her and she didn’t respond to me for a month. She apologized profusely and said she felt horrible and she wouldn’t do it again.

As time has gone on she hasn’t left me on delivered for a month but she either takes 2 weeks to almost a month to respond. I recently graduated and wanted to plan a graduation party. I originally planned on going to a concert of a band we both knew and asked her if that was a good plan and an idea. When she finally got back to me she said she wasn’t sure and she had to get on things like this or else she’d forget about it. After pestering her for a little bit about what was going to happen I just let it go and realized it wasn’t going to.

Well, one of my favourite duos is coming to a city a few hours away from me and my boyfriend bought tickets. I was super happy and then found tickets for better seating and paid for those (he’s not mad, I told him). Now with 4 tickets I thought to offer them to her and her boyfriend and make this into my graduation party. I of course told her I was selling them and if she could get back to me if she wanted to go. The first time I brought it up she said she didn’t know and her boyfriend didn’t like that type of music.

Understandable, but I thought if we partied after and made it into a whole trip it wouldn't be an issue. When I asked her again she said she didn’t even want to ask him now to be honest and she was sure we could find something else to do. This broke me. It broke me because she can go clubbing every weekend, spend hours upon hours with her other friends, but not message me back within a few days or even plan a trip for a night to do something that means a lot to me?

I don’t know how to bring this up to her or even tell her I’m put off by this. I’ve always been there for her when her other friends haven’t and have even stood up for her a little bit when she wouldn’t. Emma is an amazing, smart, kind woman and I’m thankful for all she’s done for me but now realizing that I’m kinda in the corner for her too I don’t know what to think. I vaguely told her this by saying she knows that our friendship is stable and I haven’t left her so she seems it’s fine to leave me unanswered and not hang out with me and instead put all her attention onto her other friends because they’ve left her and she wants to hold onto them. She agreed.

I don’t know what to do and I don’t know how to bring this up because we’ve never gotten into a small disagreement or argument before. I was really excited about this trip and now I’m debating even going and just selling all of my tickets.