My (35f dx) partner left me (45m) without saying anything

We got into an argument two Thursdays ago and she left without saying anything and has gone no contact and left me stranded in limbo of "is this just a break" or "are we over."

We worked together, she basically quit her job without saying anything to the owner of the business.

I love both sides of her. The bubbly side and the ADHD side. She's kind, caring, loving, thoughtful on one hand. On the other, she's manipulative, gaslighty, wonderful at blame shifting, has a complete inability to take ownership of her actions/behaviors and will have severe RSD and meltdowns when forced to be held accountable. Demand avoidance like no other....

Early in our relationship all of this triggered me. I was definitely abusive in my handling of the situations. She gave me a bit of warning early on letting me know she had ADHD, possibly AuDHD. I just didn't know what I was in for or all that fully entailed and found out I still had quite a bit of personal growth to go through in order to handle it all. And handle it all very poorly early on I sure did.

Throughout the relationship I had snooped. I just felt I wasn't getting the whole truth and discovered through snooping I was correct in my feelings. That led to a difficulty in me trusting her and always with a feeling of "what else is there?" when asking her any sort of question.

We also ended up with a very Parent/Child dynamic which wasn't healthy at all. Our sex life went to nothing. Demand avoidance kicked in. She felt like I was shaming her, I felt confused and was trying to get her to share the intimate sides of her that she liked. Insert demand avoidance, I wanted it, she wanted it, demand avoidance prevented it from happening.

The middle and end of our relationship got pretty toxic. Things flipped though. I stopped being complacent, accepting all of the blame, did a ton of reading and research and got to the point where I realized what was happening, her argumentative tactics and how I can work on myself to have better reactions to those tactics. I also learned how important accountability was for me in being able to trust.

One thing I've come to realize is me trying to "force" accountability on her end didn't work one bit. She had to want to do it herself and me "forcing" it took away her sense of autonomy. And me "forcing" her accountability led to meltdowns and tantrums from her. Any bit of feedback I gave triggered RSD. To be fair, early in the relationship any bit of feedback she gave me triggered me and my reactions were very poor.

I miss her very much and don't know what to do. The day she left, she went by work to grab her things, told the other employee that "she was taking a break from me" so I messaged her "What does taking a break from me mean to you?" I got no answer and haven't heard anything since.

I can't message her. She left, she went radio silent. It's on her to break the silence. I don't think that's going to happen because she's most likely stuck on another "self hate" spiral and would rather continue to believe that she's worthless (which she's not) than take any sort of ownership in her part of where we ended up.

The thing is, I'd forgive pretty much anything if accountability of actions are there.