Open and happy relationships are a paradox

I am currently in an open relationship. I want everyone to read my post before commenting.

I love my boyfriend, he loves me, we can only be together for 3 months at a time because he only has a tourist visa and has to go back to his home country after 3 months. When we arent together we agreed that we can do whatever we want. So we downloaded grindr, we both felt very weird doing that, but eventually we both met up with someone else. We both felt terrible, we both couldnt get hard and we both left our random guy without actually doing anything. After that we talked and cried because we miss each other so much.

Conclusion: If the relationship is good, it being open doesnt matter because we couldnt be with someone else anyway and feel good with ourselves. Sudden bursts of horniness cant be satisfied by anyone else but by each other. If he ever wants to meet someone else I would feel bad not allowing it and he would feel bad actually doing something (and vice versa). So our relationship is technically open but our feelings dont allow us to be with someone else.