How do I stop.....

the negative thoughts? cussing him out out loud etc ( into the air)

I even put them in writing and post them. ( not to him, but here for example).

it's not me but it's me..is this a normal human reaction on Abuse?

how long can this last??

I try to turn them into something positive, but that doesn't always work.It seems like this has become a part of my personality after all, even though I really don't want to be negative at all; I am a drama-free zone in principle.Pffft. 🙄.

tips and or tricks??

thanks